


Sweet thoughts and denied feelings

by hexgoldyloins



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Consensual Sex, FTM, Gay Sex, Happy Trans, M/M, Mutual Pining, Penis In Vagina Sex, Porn with Feelings, Trans Dopheld Mitaka, respectful sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexgoldyloins/pseuds/hexgoldyloins
Summary: This fic includes trans Mitaka (FtM) and I'm using terminology that I find fluent. I am trans myself, so don't even try to at me. If you don't like trans representation, please read something else. Thanks!This is the first fic I've written with a trans character + it's smutty, so please forgive me for any silliness. Also - I don't speak English as my native language.Thanks spiteandmalice for betaing this!Hope you enjoy! :)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Dopheld Mitaka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Dopheld Mitaka Christmas In July 2020





	Sweet thoughts and denied feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aro_Ace_Austrian_in_Space](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aro_Ace_Austrian_in_Space/gifts).



Emperor Armitage Hux took a hold of Dopheld Mitaka’s hand and brought it to his lips. His visit wasn’t official and it was becoming clear to Mitaka as well. Hux had traveled to confess his feelings which he'd been hiding for a long time. He had hidden them well and intentionally, but now things had changed. Mitaka wasn't working for the First Order or the Empire anymore, as he had left everything behind a month ago.

It had been a surprise, even Mitaka’s closest friends hadn’t seen it coming. After some weeks had passed, Hux had realised what the weird in his chest was and what he was missing.

"I missed you", Hux's whisper lingered on Mitaka's fingers, almost caressing them with his lips. Looking up at the brown eyes that had enchanted him so long ago, Hux tilted his head in a silent question.

Mitaka's heart raced. He'd been slowly and quietly falling for Hux for years now. At first, he had thought it was just simple admiration for the General - it was only natural to look up to those who worked their way up and fought for what they have. But, his admiration never ceased. It had only grown when Hux rose to power as the Emperor.

Hux had always been so efficient, hard-working, and even kind to his crew and people - just as long as they followed his strict schedules and rules, that is. How could Mitaka have not fallen in love with this gorgeous man, who had overcome all the obstacles that had faced him?

Mitaka's eyes roamed over Hux a few times as he searched his feelings. The answer was clear and immediate in his head, but the situation felt unreal. Was he really awake now and not just caught up in another daydream?

Just a few hours ago Mitaka had been working in his family vineyard, just like he had for several weeks now. Every day he had been second-guessing his choice to leave his Emperor's side and he'd just been aching to go back. Even though, after all, he knew that leaving had been for the best.

At the vineyard Mitaka had been pouring all his feelings to digging long rows for the wine bushes, carrying fertilizer bags, and doing any tasks that required strength. It had been the best way to keep his thoughts off the longing - even if just for a while.

He had thought - surely, as time would go on, he would ... he would forget. He had to forget.

There simply had been no other way than to leave. He couldn’t have stayed. His admiration had turned into the painful ache that he still carried with him. Mitaka couldn't have trusted himself anymore. Who's to say his work quality wouldn't have suffered by his lingering thoughts and painful longing? Lieutenant Rodinon had already noticed something was up and gotten worried. No ... Mitaka couldn't have risked losing his face in front of Hux. There hadn't been any choice.

And on top of that, Mitaka knew that one day, Hux would find a partner for his side, even though it perhaps wasn't always customary for an Emperor.

But now Hux was here. Hux had sought him out. And his intention were clear too - he had wasted no time in explaining why exactly he suddenly appeared to Mitaka’s home planet. 

Apparently, Rodinon had been drinking with Hux’s personal assistant Opan. Hux had been looking for him and then overheard their conversation. Opan had asked about Mitaka, wanting to know why he had left so suddenly. Rodinon had hinted about Mitaka’s true feelings towards their Emperor and that had been all Hux had needed to know.

Hux had made it clear - Lieutenant Rodinon had been drinking with Opan, whose conversation Hux had heard. Opan had wanted to know why Mitaka had left so suddenly and, apparently, Rodinon had hinted something about Mitaka's true feelings after some coercion from Opan.

And now Hux was here. In front of him. Asking for permission to kiss his hand.

The world suddenly felt different. Mitaka felt like he wasn't touching the ground, as if he was lighter and warm and and … giddy. Hux was here and he looked so honest and ... Ohh, he was so close. Hux was kneeling so close, looking at him, waiting for an answer patiently. Hux's breath tickling his skin made him realise he had actually come up with a reply, and soon, or he would look silly. Mitaka mentally shook himself up in an attempt to concentrate on the matter at hand.

Mitaka made a face as if he had to think about his answer to Hux. As if Hux asking permission to kiss his hand would be an impossible equation that required some thinking. Then an appreciative smirk tickled the corners of his lips.

What a tease! Hux resisted biting his lip and settled on a smile instead before he placed the kiss on the hand. Was Mitaka always such a temptation to those he was interested in?

Even though they had worked together for years, Hux had never gotten to know Mitaka that well, aside for work-related things. After acknowledging some warm feelings towards his Lieutenant at the time, Hux had pushed them far away to a corner and turned his back on them.

It would have simply been completely out of question to approach such territory. Unprofessional.

But now things were different. Mitaka wasn't working under his regime anymore. And now Hux knew his feelings weren't one-sided.

"Mmh, that feels nice", Mitaka said quietly. His eyes were closed and his hand slid along Hux’s arm to rest on his shoulder.

They were alone in his cosy living room and outside the sun was slowly starting its journey to set in a couple of hours. It was going to be a beautiful evening and no-one would be disturbing them. Mitaka’s family had seen the Emperor arriving and after some initial greetings, the family had returned to their own homes, while Hux followed Mitaka to his house.

Looking down at the kneeling ginger, Mitaka couldn’t help but think how beautiful Hux looked at the evening light. It was even better than he had imagined. But even as he was enjoying this, something lingered on Mitaka’s mind.

"You know... I thought making a pass at the Emperor was forbidden." Mitaka sighed as Hux slowly continued kissing a trail from his hand to his arm and shoulder.

"I'm the one kissing you", Hux murmured in between the kisses and then turned to look at him, "Is this ... Are you comfortable? Is this what you want?"

Mitaka looked at the seafoam green eyes and swallowed. His heart raced. They were even closer now - Hux was practically only inches away from bumping their noses together.

"Yes ... It's just", Mitaka replied and sighed. He needed to know what exactly was on Hux’s mind. He guided them to sit on the sofa and took Hux's hands in his.

"I just want to be sure what's happening here. What ... What changed after I left? It's been a month, Emperor- Uh ..." Mitaka wasn't even sure how to address Hux anymore. This was a weird situation, something he had been dreaming about for so long and suddenly Hux was here. At his parent's vineyard.

Something close to sadness flashed on Hux’s eyes before he started explaining: "Mitaka, uh, Dopheld. I know this is sudden. When you announced your leave, it ... It was a complete surprise. You've been a crucial part of my everyday life for years and suddenly you were gone. I felt off and I didn't know why. It was hard to accept that you just left. I guess I never accepted it since I'm here now."

Mitaka's eyes widened at learning this. Yes, he had been working relentlessly and with devotion under Hux's command, but he'd never been recognized like this. It hadn't been the Order's way to compliment individuals separately.

“Pardon me, I’m rambling”, Hux squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then continued, ”When you left I got lost. And then I realised what I ... That I had been ignoring my feelings. Or, well, more precisely, I had suppressed them. Completely. I thought it would have been unprofessional to ..." Hux trailed off.

"But, sir, if you don’t mind, did you not ... Uh ... Have any relations then, whatsoever? I mean, a man of your status must have some way of relaxation-"

"Please, Dopheld... First of all - you do not need to call me 'sir' or 'Emperor'. Call me by my name. Second of all ... " Hux trailed off again for a while, “Whatever relations I may have had, did not involve feelings."

It made sense. It was logical. Of course. Mitaka had sometimes thought about Hux's personal life, maybe a bit too much, and it wasn't surprising that Hux would execute such a task as efficiently as everything else he did.

"And perhaps that was also why I didn't give way to my thoughts about ... you. Since you left, I've had this aching feeling - needing something and not being able to satisfy that need", Hux continued while looking directly at Mitaka. His eyes were full of intent.

"Then I found out why you left", Hux continued and caressed his lips against Mitaka's neck, "that made me realise it wasn't what I needed, but whom I needed.”

Hux's lips brushed Mitaka's earlobe, capturing it briefly between them.

The sensation made Mitaka's toes curl and he almost managed to suppress a little sigh. Hux really was here for him. All the days of longing and the years of pining after Hux - everything felt fresh and on the surface all of a sudden.

"Well, Armitage, are you planning on making your visit worth my time?"

Hux smiled against his skin, huffing out a small laugh. The air around them was lingering with promise.

Hux stood up and smiled slightly: "I don't know, I came all the way here, but you hold the answers. You set the pace."

Hux hadn't been kidding about how much he'd been missing Mitaka. First, he hadn’t understood what was off after Mitaka’s leave. After learning he was the reason Mitaka couldn’t have been able to continue working under his regime Hux had felt dizzy. It didn’t sound unbelievable - rulers always attracted admirers, but Mitaka has been crushing on him for years. 

And the longer Hux had been thinking about their years working together the more he'd remembered lingering looks, hidden smiles, and the occasional late-night jerking off sessions with Mitaka's voice filling his mind as he climaxed.

Of course, Hux had neatly tucked those thoughts away after satisfying his immediate need. It was just a transaction he had to perform on his body and it was natural to use something that made it easier. It was nothing. Just a task. So Hux had told himself.

But now that the gorgeous man was in front of him, and what - seducing him? Hux needed a breather. He stood up from the sofa and took a deep breath.

"I can't believe I'm here ... And you're ..." Hux said as he closed his eyes and lightly rubbed his face with his hands. When he continued with a lingering smile, he still had his eyes closed: "I know it must be weird not to use my titles, but you really don't need to call me by them. Well, unless you want to."

Mitaka smirked. That was a great idea and his body seemed to agree with the way it was shivering from it. He lowered his gaze and touched Hux's arm, before standing up and gently opening the white robes covering Hux's chest. Hux was wearing a white jacket and a white shirt - it was all decorated with golden punctuation. It wasn’t as grand to what he was usually wearing, but then again, he had been traveling today. Mitaka did the same for his own shirt and guided Hux's hands to rest on his waist.

Smiling knowingly at Hux to let his intentions be known, Mitaka then let his eyes slowly glide on Hux's exposed skin. Damn, he was so beautiful. The freckles ceremoniously guided Mitaka's eyes lower until they were met with faint ginger fuzz under Hux's belly button.

Hux swallowed and a slight smile visited his face quickly. He was nervous.

The trail disappeared under the white pants Hux was wearing and Mitaka's attention was lost there for a moment. For a second he almost started getting cold feet - getting ashamed of his thoughts about what kind of cock Hux had. But then Hux let out a breath he had been keeping in longer than he realised.

Mitaka matched the sigh after looking up for a second and then back down to Hux's crotch. The thought of Hux's cock pulsing and twitching hot underneath his touch filled his mind and Mitaka licked his lips as he placed his hands on Hux's hips. He would most certainly call him Emperor, just for the fun of it - just to feel how it felt rolling off his lips.

Wait, no. No no, what was he doing? 

Mitaka mentally shook himself and told himself to get a grip. This wasn't just a fantasy - this was real life and Hux was actually standing in front of him! He couldn't just get on his knees and start sucking his cock- though, God, thinking about it made his mouth water.

Smiling up at Hux, who was slightly taller than him, Mitaka took hold of his hands and shuddered out a slight laugh. He was feeling a bit nervous too.

But then Hux closed the distance between them. Feeling their hearts pounding in their chests, as if they were trying to greet each other, they stared at each other for a moment.

Their attention kept wandering between their eyes and lips, both not sure who would make the move. Mitaka’s lips parted at the same time when Hux closed his eyes and decided to close the remaining inches between them.

The kiss started soft, their lips meeting each other carefully like they were treading on uncharted territory. They searched for reactions from the other and slowly started drowning to the feeling and kissing each other with more confidence.

Mitaka moaned against Hux's lips as Hux brought his hands under Mitaka's jaw.

This was really happening. They were really kissing. They weren't able to hear or feel anything else in the world than the other in front of them, on their lips, their arms wrapping around, lips moving more hungrily, breaths entwining in the air, Hux gasping for air and then moaning as Mitaka not-so-gently took his lower lip between his teeth.

When they broke apart their chests were heaving and they looked at each other with hungry eyes. Hux was about to say something, something that surely would have interested Mitaka, but Mitaka had other plans.

He put his hands on Hux's waist and slid down to kneel. The temptation to explore further only grew as he took in Hux's musk. It was a mix of something familiar and the laundry detergent they used for his robes. Mitaka nuzzled his face against the bulge that was already greeting him. Hux shivered in response and he let out a breathy sigh, not sure whether they were taking things too fast.

"Remember, you set the pace", Hux breathed out.

But as Mitaka drew open the zipper with his teeth, while staring up at Hux, Hux decided he was past the point of being courteous. If Mitaka wanted this, he wasn't going to stop.

Letting out another breathy sigh, Hux tilted his head back while closing his eyes.

"G-God ... Mitaka ..." he moaned when he felt lips wrapping around the tip of his cock followed by a tongue that swirled around it. Hux turned his attention back at Mitaka, wanting to grab his hair, but somehow they'd managed to keep it unruffled - it was still gelled back neatly as if they had never left the Finalizer.

"You are so gorgeous, I'm ... I'm speechless. Are .. Mitaka, wow you are so talented- Are you sure you want this?"

Mitaka looked up at Hux and let the cock pop out of his mouth ungraciously. It left a slither of saliva on his cheek.

Was he sure? For kriff's sake - certainly, he was sure. Mitaka didn’t want to wait, he needed to feel Hux's skin against his own. The idea of sucking on that hot fat cock for the rest of the night did cross his mind, but that would have to wait for another time.

Mitaka got up after convincing Hux he wanted this as much as Hux did. They started kissing each other again, their breaths mixing between the fever that seemed to set them on fire while they moved upstairs. Mitaka guided them to his bedroom and Hux stripped off his clothes just in time before he was pushed on the soft linens.

Hux reveled in the way Mitaka seemed to be a bit shy, at first, and then on the next turn, he took control of the situation like Hux had never been his superior. Best of both worlds, truly.

Mitaka let his pants slip off to the floor before crawling on top of Hux like a stealthy cat. He hadn't taken off his dark dress shirt yet because ... well, a little bit of teasing was never a bad idea.

A smile flashed on his face as he slid his other shoulder free from his shirt, thinking whether Hux had been waiting for this moment as long as he had.

"Do I please you, Emperor?" he pretended to be not-so-coy, fluttering his eyelashes innocently and smiling then more devilishly as he whispered, "Touch me, Emperor, you have my permission."

Hux only swallowed, amazed at how beautiful Mitaka looked. Hux had imagined Mitaka would be lean like him, but he was surprisingly muscular under all the garments. He trailed his fingers on the scars under Mitaka’s pecs, wondering if he would be allowed to kiss them.

"You are perfect."

Hux smiled sincerely at Mitaka and it was everything he needed to continue further. He wasn’t self-conscious about his body and Hux knew about his surgery - it had happened while First Order was still a thing. In fact, Hux had been one of many to sign his signature for his surgery approval papers.

Mitaka backed up a little and breathed deep as he sat directly over Hux's aching cock. He didn't push against it yet, as he knew exactly how he wanted this to go. Even so, the cock felt hot against his slit, making him even wetter than he already was.

"Ah ... My Emperor, God, you feel so good", Mitaka moaned and moved his hips slightly. Hux was breathing raggedly already too and it was getting increasingly hard for him not to beg for more.

"I love how your cock feels", Mitaka pushed down a bit harder now, not only teasing his lips but also sliding along the length openly. The wet sounds drew out another moan from him, urging him to start teasing his first hole. He sat up a little so he was able to push against Hux's cock more. It was then when he decided to grab a condom from the nightstand and slide it on Hux's cock.

"Please... Mita- Dopheld! I- God- Fuck, I-", Hux gasped between breaths as he felt the tight hot pressure around the tip of his cock again. Mitaka was teasing him by pushing against his cock slightly, then rotating his hips a bit and pushing down more, just before pulling away again.

It was torture. Pure torture. Hux's hands grabbed the bedsheets, and his knuckles started getting white. He did his best to keep his hands to himself, or otherwise, the temptation to touch Mitaka everywhere got too high.

Mitaka had reduced him to a moaning mess and both of them were loving every second of it. There wasn't a single shred of doubt in Hux's mind anymore, all he could concentrate on was the pleasure and the moans and the way Mitaka fluttered his eyes closed each time he sank deeper.

Breathing out some praise, which went past Mitaka's ears, Hux squeezed his eyes shut as Mitaka bottomed out. Mitaka guided Hux's hands onto his waist while he paused all movement to get them both adjusted to the new sensation.

“You feel so good inside me”, Mitaka praised and loved the way Hux seemed to struggle to not tighten his grip.

Hux moved his hands down to Mitaka's hips in an attempt to ground himself and concentrate on something other than the tightness around his cock. So far, he had kept true to his word of 'you set the pace', even though it was becoming increasingly difficult.

After a few deep breaths, Mitaka sat up straight again to put all his weight downward. They both keened out aloud as Hux's cock was able to sink further in, even if it was just a little.

Before grabbing Hux's hands, Mitaka threw his shirt to the floor. It was sweaty, but he didn't want to get it completely ruined. 

Feeling Hux's lean hands on his pecs felt amazing, the pressure around his muscles and the adoration from Hux was so much.

Mitaka breathed out slowly as he started rocking on Hux's length while massaging Hux’s hands against his chest. He had been fantasizing about Hux for so long, first when he had been his superior General and later his Emperor. But never had Mitaka thought he actually had a shot.

Hux knew if he kept touching Mitaka, he wouldn't be able to hold back and he would come sooner than he wanted to. Mitaka’s perky nipples pressed against his palms and just the hard round muscle underneath was driving him on the edge.

"You’re going to make me cum much too soon", Hux whined.

Mitaka smirked and leaned forward while Hux slid his hands on Mitaka’s lower back.

"I’m going to” Mitaka rolled his hips, “cum so hard”, he moaned against Hux’s lips, “and I won’t hold back, Hux.”

Hearing his name and the way Mitaka pronounced Hux's name with extra punctuation on the X made him shudder with pleasure. He was climbing higher and higher and it wouldn’t take much anymore. He was almost there.

"But darling- Ohh, kriff. Fuck. I don't think I'm going to be able to hold out for long."

Resting on his elbows, Mitaka leaned next to Hux's ear and whispered, "Well, isn't that the point - to enjoy each other and in the end - cum. Touch me, Hux, I want you to feel how good you're making me feel."

Mitaka moved back to a sitting position again, still straddling Hux's thighs and started grinding his hips faster before moving Hux's hand on them and pushing them downwards. Hux then, finally, realised what Mitaka meant.

Gently, Hux slid his hand between Mitaka's thighs while Mitaka slowed down the movements for a while. He let his thumb slide over Mitaka's lips before rounding it gently around the small dick that peeked upwards. It was hard, wet and silky and throbbed under his careful touches. Flicking the dick between his fingers made Mitaka moan long. It was almost enough to send Hux over the edge. 

It was like Mitaka had been waiting for this moment and holding his breath forever and now, finally, he was permitted to breathe and enjoy without any limits or hesitations. He was so gorgeous, completely surrendering to the pleasure.

"Ahh.. I .. God" Hux moaned as Mitaka found a rhythm again and slid up on Hux's cock a couple of times in long strokes. He made sure he was almost at the tip before sliding down again and then starting to pound down harder and faster.

It didn't take them long. The double sensation inside and outside of Mitaka built up the tension in his stomach and before he realised, he couldn’t hold it anymore and came while grabbing Hux’s pecs. Hux moaned as he felt Mitaka tightening impossibly more around him. Hux gasped out in short bursts as he came while Mitaka rode out his own orgasm.

After coming down from his high, Mitaka looked at Hux with half-lidded eyes and leaned down to rest against him. Hux was still trying to get his breathing under control, shuddering from time to time and that’s when he realised his nails had bit into Mitaka’s ass cheeks.

"I'm ... Sor-" he quickly let go but was interrupted by a quick kiss and a relaxed laugh.

"Shut up Armitage, that was great. All of that was great", Mitaka smiled and lingered on the feeling of Hux still inside of him, before he started getting soft and slipping out.

They moved a bit on the bed to get rid of the condom and to get away from the sweaty side of the bed.

"If I had known about your feelings, I ... Wouldn't have left", Mitaka sighed when they embraced each other again. He placed a couple of gentle kisses on Hux's collarbones.

“We have each other now. I presume?” Hux returned a cheeky smile before getting gently hit with a pillow.

They were both utterly satisfied and ... just happy. Happy in the moment. Happy with each other.

And there would be much more of that in the future too, they were both sure of that.


End file.
